Tag Archives: self awareness

The Power of Story

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We all have expertise to share. Story can enhance the power of that expertise. I find some speakers just don’t want to include story in their speeches/presentations or they don’t know how to incorporate story.

If you are on the fence about including story I encourage you to rethink your position. As humans we have shared story since we graced this planet. We used story to share myth, teach survival skills and parables, to share our history and cautionary tales.

Individuals will remember a good, emotional story before they remember facts. They will share that story before they share facts. It is just the way humans’ function.

Here is an example of the power of story. I gave a speech this morning, 5 Tips for a Successful Presentation. I started with a story about my first public speaking experience. The experience was horrible and started me on my path as a public speaking coach.

When we got to the questions many of them were about the story- how would I have done things differently, what were the details of what I did, how did people react.  The audience wanted to learn more and was relating their learning to the story. There were some questions related directly to the content but the questions were split about 50/50, content/story.

I did not expect the story to affect the audience so deeply. It illustrates the importance of story, the impact a story can have. If your audience can relate to the story and if it tugs on their emotions (fear, joy, frustration) story can add a level of intimacy and rapport it is difficult to duplicate.

If you don’t use story try it, if you don’t know how to use story work with a public speaking coach to learn.

An Often Untapped Business Resource

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Big corporations use them; college students are always trying to get them.

Internships. Quite often small businesses do not tap into this cost effective resource. Internships are the college student’s way of getting experience. Internships can be structured to last a specific amount of time or for the life of a specific project.

Interns are great at doing some of those things that are not your strong suit. For instance, junior and senior marketing students can develop and implement marketing plans.  If you need help with communications or writing English and Communication departments are great resources. Research can take a lot of time if you are a busy business owner- unless you have an intern committed to it for 2 – 3 hours for a month. Interns can be utilized to make follow up calls, contact groups to secure speaking engagements, or to help with developing collateral material.

When you are considering an intern think about tasks and projects that you may not have time/energy to complete but that will provide experience to someone else. You will need to provide a job description, guidance on how you will work together and be certain to interview the candidates. You are as responsible for their success as they are and they will require supervision.

You get a resource that wants to do a good job. Although many internships are unpaid a struggling student would appreciate anything you can provide. I know some business owners that do small things for their intern like buy them lunch if they are onsite, provide a small check at the end of the term, allow them to attend training the company is doing and act as a reference. You may not officially pay your intern but finding creative ways to express your appreciation is good for you and the intern.

Once the project is completed you are required to write a letter of recommendation. Many interns receive college credit for their work and your letter is proof that they completed the internship.

This should be a symbiotic relationship- good for you, good for them. To secure an intern contact your local college/university or put a call out to your networking group.

Speakers have Flipper arms- Flipper would be proud of us!

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I see it all of the time, I even find myself doing it! Flipper arms when I am speaking.  Public speakers know some things are just super irritating. Jingling change in a pocket, a bracelet that rattles, a heavy breather on a microphone are all annoying.

The one we forget about is ‘flipper’ arms. You have seen it- the speaker has their arms at a 90-degree angle and there hands are constantly moving for no apparent reason. Back and forth, from side to side, over and over and over again. Every once in a while they will wring their hands or make an expansive gesture that looks like it is meant to encompass the whole room.

I’m not suggesting speakers stand perfectly still but a little stillness would be nice. Think about it like this, if you want to use gestures to illustrate a point make them BIG. If your arms and hands have been relatively still for the majority of a speech those gestures have even more impact. If you have had ‘flipper’ arms the entire time the BIG gestures simply seem like an addition to your already squirming body.

Not sure if you do the ‘flipper’ thing? Videotape a speech. Then actually watch it- looking for ‘flipper’ arms. When it happens you will notice.  You will probably see some other things you would like to change about your speaking too.

If you don’t have access to a video camera stand in front of a mirror and give your speech. Keep giving it until you relax enough to act normally.

Now that you have seen your version of ‘flipper’ arms you need to stop it. The simplest thing to do is let your arms hang naturally at your side. It might not feel comfortable but from an observers perspective it looks natural and confident. When you feel your hands start to creep up put them back at your side. Now, when you gesture BIG it looks BIG! And makes a point.

This will take some practice but the more you do it the better you will get at it. Happy speaking!

I don’t want to walk out on your speech!

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I did it today. I walked out on a speech. I left before the end because I just could not stand it anymore.

Two women were presenting. I think their slides were nicely done. I say I think because at times I am not certain what the actual point of their rambling was supposed to be. The advertised topic was fairly broad and rather than choosing a specific area to drill in to they touched briefly on multiple areas. A fine tactic if you execute well.

They had not practiced exactly what they were going to say. They stumbled over their words, threw in lots of ah’s and um’s, and used stories that illustrated a point only if you were creative.

This is a learning opportunity for all of us.

No, they were not professional speakers and I would bet they do not regularly do presentations. At a minimum, someone should be able to easily follow your speech and draw a parallel between the story you are telling and the point you are addressing.

Non-words can be forgiven; we have all been there. My point is even if you are not a professional speaker you need to approach any speech/presentation as a professional opportunity.  Use the opportunity. If nothing else you may just find a customer among all of the prospects sitting in the room.  If you are uncomfortable or unsure about how to write or deliver a speech or how to create slides ask someone for help and then practice. Attend a class like Delivery Skills that Sell.

A professional speaker will tell you the moment you relax, the moment you stop asking for help or think you don’t need to practice is the moment you deliver a mediocre speech. I know you don’t want to do that.

Public Speakers- Practice, Practice, Practice

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To this day I bristle when I hear the words practice- or think about practicing. When I was in high school I played 3 instruments. Every day I practiced 3 instruments. By the time I got to university I never wanted to ‘practice’ again.

Now, I find myself practicing! Not only do I practice but also I preach it to my clients. Ask someone doing public speaking if they have practiced- most of them will waffle a bit and admit they have not. Ask them what they think would make them more comfortable and, after waffling a bit, they will say practice.

There truly is something to this idea of practice. Any elite athlete will tell you practice is crucial- Lance Armstrong, Abby Wambach, Michael Phelps ratchets up his practice as the Olympics approach. You may have natural talent and practice will move you to the next level.

Practice is the piece that allows you to sail through a speech when everything that can go wrong does. You may have forgotten your outline, the PowerPoint is down, only two lights in the room work and 75 people are crammed into a room built for 50 and if you have practiced that speech you will pull off the greatest speech ever! If you haven’t practiced, you may limp along with something that is, let’s say, less than stellar.

Practice will give you confidence, will allow you to ad lib when it is needed, and will keep you going when you feel like everything else is falling apart.

What happens to my clients that practice? All of a sudden they have a sense of confidence they have never had before, I see it and the audience sees it. Everyone practices- don’t kid yourself into thinking the greatest speakers out there don’t have their own way of practicing. They do.

You could be a brilliant speaker too. It is all up to you.

How much time are you wasting?

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Time management is an issue for most of us. Even if you are good at managing your time things happen that may throw off your day.

For instance, I was meeting a client today- She called to let me know she would be late. I was already on my way and now had 15 – 20 minutes with nothing to do; ‘wasted time’.  I could stare off into space while I waited and sometimes that is exactly what I need to do. Or, I could use that time in a more obviously productive way. I could write a blog, return a call or two, jot down ideas for a program, or prep for a meeting later today. Have a smart phone? Check your email; pay a bill, Facebook the friend you have been meaning to call.

The point is the time does not have to be wasted unless you want it to be. You could just sit and be- then I would argue you are not wasting the time but taking a moment for your mental/emotional health. You get to choose how you use that time. It is only wasted if you decide to waste it.

Our days are normally so hectic that a few minutes between clients or customers may be a blessing in disguise. I tend to write when I am waiting for people. I even use an old fashioned pen and paper. They are always tucked in my bag ‘o’ tricks along with thank you notes. This is a great time to get those handwritten notes out to affiliates that made your last launch highly profitable.

The High Cost of being an Expert at Everything

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Have you ever noticed that the folks that need the most help are often the last to ask for it? (I will admit I tend to go this direction and need to be constantly vigilant.)

Folks will struggle along in their business when people who would be willing to help if they were just asked surround them. I see this with first time and long time business owners. You believe you can be an expert at your products/service, marketing, social media, accounting… You name it you can do it! (Is this you???)

I am sure you can struggle along- but at what price? It is easy to work yourself right in to the ground when you are doing everything. You have no time for friends, no time for family and may end up exhausted emotionally and physically.

The business cost can be even higher. How well will a marketing campaign do when you need to design, implement, follow up and determine ROI on it when your specialty is (insert specialty here)?  Spending a few dollars to have a marketing specialist handle a campaign from A- Z can pay off big; far exceeding the money you spent.

You do not need to keep a full stable of full time specialists on staff. Hire specialists as you need them. When you launch a new product you bring on a marketing expert, a packaging expert, a social media expert- whatever it is you need to make that launch a smashing success.

Something as simple as working with a business coach can make a tremendous difference in revenue and stress when you are just starting out or find yourself struggling.

Never be afraid to ask for help, your business will benefit every time you ask.

Sure Fire way for a Speaker to Turn Off an Audience

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Sometimes you hear a story and you just cannot help but pass it along.  My network knows I am a public speaking coach so I get to hear about great and awful speakers they have heard.

Just yesterday I heard a story about a speaker who was billed as ‘inspirational, motivational’ doing an event with two other speakers. The inspirational, motivational speaker spoke first. Apparently the speech went something like this…

“You think you have problems…. Let me tell you about my divorce. Let me tell you about my kids. Let me tell you about…. “

She spent the entire 30 minutes telling stories about her awful her without any value add information. No ideas on handling situations, no motivational or inspirational thoughts or advice, just story after story about her hideous life.

The person who told me about this actually left the seminar. With two other speakers to go and 20 minutes left for the first speaker she could not handle it anymore. She paid for the event and left anyway.

What went wrong? The speaker was focused solely on herself. Stories are great- if they are told to illustrate or lead the audience to a point, to elicit an emotion that moves the topic forward, or to jump-start a speech.

You must provide value. Be motivational if that is the topic of the speech; explain how to build a jet engine if that is the topic. Know how to use your story to add value; don’t just toss stories into the mix because ‘you should have stories in your speech’.

Talking about yourself without a real point in sight is a sure way to turn off your audience.

With Victory comes a little Planning

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I got some great news yesterday! The seminar I have been working on for trial attorneys was granted continuing legal education credits by the NC Bar association this week.

This is a huge step for the seminar and opens up an entire world of possibility. My biggest problem is deciding where to start. Which brings me back to a topic that seems to keep coming up in recent blogs- planning.

There are about 5 different directions I could go. If I ran off in all 5 directions at once I would end up with a train wreck at the end of the day and a seminar that was a huge bomb. If you are in that place pick a direction lay out the steps for completion, pick the next then do the same.

Next decide which direction you are either most passionate about or will bring revenue in first. Hopefully those two areas intersect. If not, decide revenue or passion- it is your business you need to decide what is best for the business.

Once you have decided go down that path. Of course, you can work two paths at one time as long as you remain focused on a primary direction and work the other when you have the time.

Doesn’t sound like fun? Well, I would call results fun- but that is just me. I have my plan, I am working it, and I am looking forward to the results.

When You Thrive Your Business Thrives

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I had tons of things to do this weekend. Work to catch up on- which is usually a sign of a good busy week- social media posts to line up, general weekend ‘stuff’ we all have to do. Yet, I did not want to move all weekend. The phone rang, I was annoyed, the dog wanted to go out- I had to get off of the couch, go to bed- again get off the couch (or not), hungry get off of the couch…

If it involved more than picking up the remote I really did not want to deal with it.

Rather than force myself to do all of that ‘stuff’ I allowed myself to simply ‘be’.

I woke up Mon. morning ready to go. By noon I had done almost everything on my ‘must get done list’ and was on to not quite so critical or immediate work. I was interested in everything, excited to get things done and happy to be working.

So what happened?

This happens to many of us. We are so busy during the week, doing the work we love, catching up with friends, completing projects that we don’t allow ourselves to power down for a few minutes and recover.  I gave myself the gift of recovery this weekend.

What if you cannot ‘be’ for an entire weekend? (I admit it was a luxury.) Find an hour. Find 15 minutes. Just be still and quiet, meditate if you want, stare at the trees, just ‘be’. To avoid the crash I had over the weekend take some time to ‘be’ every day.  I know better than to miss that ‘be’ time and, like you, I get so engrossed in my work I lose track of time occasionally.

The ‘be’ time will help you keep the creativity flowing, keep your more even tempered, more grounded and more relaxed. That is a gift you give yourself and your business. Remember when you thrive your business thrives.